Breaking the silence....

Many have been telling me recently that they are ready for an update on our adoption and I realize that we haven't written anything on here in several months.  So, I figured it was time to update everyone on where we are at. 

After the very, very difficult decision to turn down the referral last January, we were told to expect another referral within a few weeks.  Unfortunately, that has not been the case.  We are still waiting.  Personally, I vacillate between sitting on pins and needles, expecting each phone call to be a call telling us to come meet our child, and anxiously wondering what is wrong and why it is taking so long.  We have communicated with our agency, asking what the delay is about.  They do not know exactly,but have reminded us that things often do not go as expected with foreign governments and that we will get a referral someday, we just cant predict when. 

So, we really do not have news to report other than that we are waiting.  I ask for your prayers for our little one who needs a home. I hate that government red tape is causing them to live in an orphanage without a family longer than necessary.  All four of us are ready and are all learning about patience, waiting, and trusting God.

A few weeks ago, I believe God spoke to me through a verse, reminding me that He is in control of the timing of all of this, and all we can do is wait in an attititude of faith and trust.   "....If it seems slow in coming, wait.  Its on its way. It will come right on time."  (Habakkuk 2:3)  Despite not understanding, I am trusting God's perfect timing in the whole process.  Thanks for the support and prayers.

Will you help us pray?

Things have settled over the past week or so.  We have made peace with our decision to decline our first referral and are again waiting.  Now that we have gotten a bit of perspective over the events of the past few weeks, we are are left with a renewed sense of the need to pray for orphaned children.  I (Brent) find it difficult to know how to pray for such a huge, worldwide need.  It was while pondering this a few weeks ago I came up with an idea.  In Russia, orphaned children have to be posted on a public registry for at least six months, so that a Russian family will have the opportunity to provide homes for these children.  Some time ago, a fellow adoptive parent showed us how to access the site and helped us to navigate to the registry for our region (since the site is all in Russian, of course, this is a bit tricky!).  On the registry, a first name, photo, and some very basic information about the child is provided.  My idea is to print these photos and translate the information so that I can pray for each child individually.  I quickly realized that this is a bit of an undertaking, as there are hundreds of kids on the registry for our region.  So, here is what I propose.  Help pray for these children by taking one child and praying for them.  If you can commit to praying for one of these children, please send me an email and I will send you back a photo and translation (thank you Google Translate!).  I have compiled about 40 so far and will continue to do so as long as I keep getting emails.  The really exciting thing for me is to know that one of my friends or family members will be praying specifically for my child.  Ann-Marie and I are continuing to pray for our first referral and hope to see him removed from the registry soon so we can know that he has been placed with a family.  As you pray, I will happily update you on the child you are praying for as well.  The bottom line is that I want to see these kids placed in a loving home as soon as possible.  My email address is brent @ hb-re.com  Thanks for your prayers both for our family and for these kids.

Hurt, Disappointment, Confusion....

It is with heavy hearts that we post this blog entry. After over a year long journey, we received a referral yesterday to adopt a little boy.  After gaining more information, however, we were very saddened to learn that this boy has several serious medical conditions that we were not expecting. After a lot of prayer, a lot of talking, and a sleepless night, we do not believe we are equipped to raise him. And so, we are making the very difficult decision to decline this referral.  Please pray for us right now. Maddie, Dylan, Brent, and I are all grieving this in our own way.  And, please pray for this little boy who desperately needs a home. We know God has good plans for him and the right family for him is out there (Jeremiah 29:11).  Pray that the right family is led to adopt him.  We are very sad that that family is not us.  Pray for the child that we will adopt.  We will return to the "system" to wait for another referral.  Thanks for all the love and support. And, thanks to the anonymous friend who left a very sweet, unsigned card in my mailbox today. It meant a lot to me. 

Christmas Love and Answered Prayer...

We were surprised today with a very special gift from the Hoak family...a handmade ornament with pictures of Kaliningrad displayed inside.  Tears come to my eyes as I realize how much love, prayers, and support are being showered on our little one who is 5339 miles away (according to my google search!)   Thank you, Katherine, for your work on this amazing gift.  It will be treasured by our family for years to come. 

In other news, we have been amazed in the last week at God's faithfulness to answer prayer. As I posted less than 2 weeks ago, we were told to expect a substantial delay in our adoption. The  delay in the adoption was due to another family having a delay in the finalization of their adoption. We were told that until their adoption was finalized, our adoption was "on hold".  The very next day, after my last blog post, the other family unexpectedly was told that their adoption could be completed.  We found out last night that this means that we are now officially registered in Kaliningrad, meaning we officially could get a referral for a child and be asked to travel to Russia any day now (although we were told this could possibly take up to a few months...).  This was the last major roadblock before receiving word of who our little one is! I firmly believe that God was listening to our prayers and acted swiftly on our behalf.  I ask you to continue to pray that everything in the way of our little one coming home will removed.  My friend since high school, Becky Maddox, reminded me of Exodus 14:14, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." This is my prayer for our child and for my entire family as we can only wait at this point, trusting in God's perfect timing and faithfulness to complete what He has started. 

The Stockings Were Hung by the Chimney with Care...

The decorations are up at our house and we excited about the beginning of the Christmas season. As you can see, 5 stockings are hanging this year in anticipation of the newest family member. 

We spoke to the adoption agency today and were told that it will probably be several more months before we travel to Russia.  This was not music to this waiting mama's ears.  I've been hoping for a referral before Christmas, dreaming of filling a stocking for our child this year.  It looks like that dream isn't going to be a reality for 2011. 

In spite of this disappointment, I must hold on in faith that God's timing is perfect.  Having battled with God over my desire to control timing throughout our infertility struggles, I realize that this is something I must surrender to God, knowing He knows what is best more than I can even imagine.  Still my heart aches for a child who lives right now on the other side of the world, waiting for a family. We are waiting with open arms.  Tonight, 4 year old Dylan prayed, "God, please bring our orphan here so we can be with him forever!"   This is my prayer too.  I pray that God "parts the sea" of bureaucratic red tape and brings our child home sooner than expected.  Please pray that our child is brought home soon. 

The race is over!

The Chosen Marathon for Adoption was yesterday!  As an adoptive family, the experience of being part of this race was amazing.  When we learned of this months ago, we debated and prayed about participating...on the one hand, we are runners and running in a race to both raise adoption awareness and to raise money for our adoption made sense.  On the other hand, as someone who sometimes struggles with accepting help from others, we debated getting others involved in the adoption in this way.  In the end, we decided this was a great way to use a hobby (and passion, in my case) of ours to educate and get others involved in an even bigger passion... our passion for the children in the world without a family! 

Now that the race is over, I think I can honestly say that this race was an amazing experience!  As a runner, I usually walk away from races with a runner's "high" but yesterday's experience was different.  My high was not about what I accomplished (although I will proudly tell you that I came in 1st place in my age 30-39 age group for the full marathon) or about being proud of Brent for completing his 2nd half marathon, which is no small feat.  My high is about everything else this race was about.  The race raised $150,000 to help adoptive families afford the high costs of completing an adoption.  The race gave me a chance to see other adoptive families and hear about the passions of others who are adopting.  I saw many volunteers very sacrificially give their time to support the race as a whole and our family personally in our adoption journey.  And, Brent and I experienced the support of our friends and family in an amazing way.  I know that many special people in our lives love the child who will soon be a part of our family, even though none of us know who he or she is yet.  The generous donations of our friends and family have raised more than $3500 so far toward our adoption.  Also, five of our friends: Joel Verinder, Allison Parker, Gene Wilkes, Mark Housewright, and David Morales, took the time and energy to train and then travel to run with us on this special day.  We feel very loved and supported.

As I ran toward the finish line after running 26.2 miles, the street was lined with large posters with photos of adopted children, reminding all of us of why we were running.  Seeing the faces of those children and receieving a unique finisher's medal (a bracelet made by children in a Haitian orphanage) gave new meaning to why I was running.  This race was not about me or Brent, it was about all of the children in the world who need a family and about the chance to be a part of something that is taking a small step toward helping give a family to some of those children. 

 People wrote messages about why they were running on these posters, which were

 displayed at the race!

 Dinner out with Allison and Clay Parker and Baby Deacon the night before the race. 

We stayed with Mark Houswright.  David Morales, a friend we havent seen in a few years, travelled from Corpus to run with us!  It was great to see him.  

 Getting ready to run the morning of the race.  Our pastor, Gene Wilkes, travelled to run with us. We appreciate the sacrifice of his time and energy on a busy weekend! 

 Team Bowen! Ready to run at 7:00 am.  Left to right:Brent Bowen, Mark Housewright, Gene Wilkes, Ann-Marie Bowen, Allison Parker, Joel Verinder.  David Morales was there, but we couldnt find him in time for the picture!

 After the race: Gene and Mark waited with Brent for me to finish the full marathon after they ran the half. 

 Getting my trophy for winning 1st place in my division.  I can't wait to tell the story of this race to our child one day!

Ramblings about Life, Running, Adoption, and other Deep Thoughts

Hebrews 12:1-3 "...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith... so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

I did a 22 mile training run this morning as part of my training for the marathon for adoption (http://www.chosenmarathonforadoption.com/) that we are running at the end of the month.  For me, long runs, alone tend to lend themselves to deep thoughts. This morning, while running for 3 hours and 22 minutes, I spend a lot of time thinking about why I'm running, what it has to do with the adoption adventure we are experiencing, and how that relates to life in general.

Today's run was rough on me... not just because it was 22 miles long, but because the weather was less than ideal (38 mph winds, 88% humidity, 73 degrees...any runner will tell you this is not ideal running weather).  So, today's run was a test of endurance and perseverance for me.  As I ran, I thought about how life really is an endurance race.  Sometimes the race of life means working hard over time, other times the race means waiting patiently over time.  I've never been great at either.  I want what I want when I want it.  While I think this is true of most of us, growth means working through this.  And, for me, joy and peace come as I surrender this desire. 

This is one of the biggest things running has taught me.  God has used long distance running to help me learn endurance, perseverance, and taking life "one step at a time."  I can't start a marathon focusing on mile 26 or I wont take the 1st step... it will be too overwhelming.  And, this same attitude is the one that I must have as I approach anything big in life. 

So, how does adoption fit into this? Its a long road. Right now, I am having to persevere in waiting patiently for the news that we can travel to meet a child who I feel bonded to, despite the fact that I know nothing about this child.   Waiting is hard.  It is hard on the whole family.  Dylan asks regularly, "Can we go meet the orphan today?"  Maddie had a bad dream the other night that someone else took her brother or sister in Russia.  My human nature that wants things in my time wants to know when the next step is so I can plan accordingly.  But, just as I must approach a long distance run one step at a time, I must face this journey toward our child in Russia one day at a time.  Its a hard lesson to learn but one worth challenging myself with.  God's promise is that I fix my eyes on Jesus and His plan each step of the way, I will not grow weary or lose heart.