Our flights are booked and we are all anticipating our 3rd trip to Russia! Maddie and Dylan are traveling with us this time and are both very, very excited to meet their new brother!
We leave on October 19th from Houston and fly non-stop to Moscow, arriving on the 20th. Then, we will pick Nikita up at the orphanage on the morning of the 21st! We will spend 3 days getting processed at the US Embassy to get his passport, visa, and citizenship worked out. Then, the FIVE of us will fly home on the 25th!
We are very excited to get him home!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Court
Psalm 20:6-9 NIV
"Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. Lord, give victory to the king! Answer us when we call!"
This morning before leaving for court, this verse came to my mind. I looked it up and read it over several times. Little did I know how important it was to know this today. Brent and I arrived at court, anxious, but confident (as we had been told to be) that all would be fine. The judge asked standard questions about us, our income, our family life, and seemed pleased with the answers we gave. I was just beginning to breath a sigh of relief when she asked us (via the translator), "Where is your home study?" What followed was nothing short of total chaos and confusion. For those who don't know, our home study is the most BASIC piece of adoption paperwork. The judge had a stack of hundreds of pages of paperwork documenting more details from our life that you can possibly imagine. But, the very first piece of paperwork ever mailed to Russia was our home study. Without it, none of the other paperwork means anything. So, when I was asked where it was, my response was "What do you mean?" I had a copy with me, but it was not an original, and therefore meaningless to the judge. As our interpreter kept drilling me on where it was, I kept asking her the same thing. That document was mailed in to Russia , by our adoption agency, over a year ago. I started to cry and was quickly told, by the translator, to stop immediately (apparently, showing emotions was not an option at this moment). Brent was in a state of shock. They kept telling Brent and I that there was no adoption without the home study. I kept telling them that someone has it (and it wasn't me!). Neither Brent or I could fathom how we got all the way to court without someone responsible noticing that it had been separated from our paperwork at some point. Everyone in the court room spoke Russia to each other, tense words were spoken, and we had no idea what was going on.
In my state of panic, the words of the verse I printed above came to my mind. I can only trust in God to work this out... for Nikita and for us. In my state of powerlessness, all I could do was sit and quietly pray. As I prayed, I thought about how many of you I knew were also praying and found comfort in that.
In the middle of all of this, I heard the word "Kaliningrad". Kaliningrad is the region of Russia where we were originally supposed to adopt from, before we were re-assigned to Moscow because of the special circumstances of our referral of Nikita. I asked the interpreter what was going on and she said that someone thought maybe the home study was still in Kaliningrad. A phone call was made, someone in Kaliningrad drove to her office, and the home study was located! At this point, we were still being told that the judge could not issue the adoption approval without the home study. Since Kaliningrad was a several hour plane ride away, this meant that there was no way our adoption could be finalized. We would have to come back or not adopt Nik. I kept praying. The judge left. I was told that someone was faxing a copy to the judge from Kaliningrad. After what felt like an eternity, but was probably only 10 minutes, the judge reappeared, asked Brent and I to stand, and announced her APPROVAL of the adoption of Peter Nikita Bowen to us! God did a miracle in this and I give Him full credit.
Due to the 30 day waiting period before the adoption decree goes into effect, we wait until October 19th before he is ours officially. We were told, due to paperwork, the best day to pick him up from the orphanage will be Sunday, October 21st. So, next month, we will be back to get our son.
"Now this I know: The Lord gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. Lord, give victory to the king! Answer us when we call!"
This morning before leaving for court, this verse came to my mind. I looked it up and read it over several times. Little did I know how important it was to know this today. Brent and I arrived at court, anxious, but confident (as we had been told to be) that all would be fine. The judge asked standard questions about us, our income, our family life, and seemed pleased with the answers we gave. I was just beginning to breath a sigh of relief when she asked us (via the translator), "Where is your home study?" What followed was nothing short of total chaos and confusion. For those who don't know, our home study is the most BASIC piece of adoption paperwork. The judge had a stack of hundreds of pages of paperwork documenting more details from our life that you can possibly imagine. But, the very first piece of paperwork ever mailed to Russia was our home study. Without it, none of the other paperwork means anything. So, when I was asked where it was, my response was "What do you mean?" I had a copy with me, but it was not an original, and therefore meaningless to the judge. As our interpreter kept drilling me on where it was, I kept asking her the same thing. That document was mailed in to Russia , by our adoption agency, over a year ago. I started to cry and was quickly told, by the translator, to stop immediately (apparently, showing emotions was not an option at this moment). Brent was in a state of shock. They kept telling Brent and I that there was no adoption without the home study. I kept telling them that someone has it (and it wasn't me!). Neither Brent or I could fathom how we got all the way to court without someone responsible noticing that it had been separated from our paperwork at some point. Everyone in the court room spoke Russia to each other, tense words were spoken, and we had no idea what was going on.
In my state of panic, the words of the verse I printed above came to my mind. I can only trust in God to work this out... for Nikita and for us. In my state of powerlessness, all I could do was sit and quietly pray. As I prayed, I thought about how many of you I knew were also praying and found comfort in that.
In the middle of all of this, I heard the word "Kaliningrad". Kaliningrad is the region of Russia where we were originally supposed to adopt from, before we were re-assigned to Moscow because of the special circumstances of our referral of Nikita. I asked the interpreter what was going on and she said that someone thought maybe the home study was still in Kaliningrad. A phone call was made, someone in Kaliningrad drove to her office, and the home study was located! At this point, we were still being told that the judge could not issue the adoption approval without the home study. Since Kaliningrad was a several hour plane ride away, this meant that there was no way our adoption could be finalized. We would have to come back or not adopt Nik. I kept praying. The judge left. I was told that someone was faxing a copy to the judge from Kaliningrad. After what felt like an eternity, but was probably only 10 minutes, the judge reappeared, asked Brent and I to stand, and announced her APPROVAL of the adoption of Peter Nikita Bowen to us! God did a miracle in this and I give Him full credit.
Due to the 30 day waiting period before the adoption decree goes into effect, we wait until October 19th before he is ours officially. We were told, due to paperwork, the best day to pick him up from the orphanage will be Sunday, October 21st. So, next month, we will be back to get our son.
Monday, September 17, 2012
A busy day!
What a day! As Brent implied yesterday, this trip has been somewhat (actually a lot) stressful. There was some confusion about our travel schedule within our agency staff, which has left us without an interpreter. So, we have had to navigate orphanage visits with little or no verbal communication.
Today was our last visit with Nik for this trip. It was cold (low 40s) outside but, as has been the case, we were expected to play outside with Nik while the orphanage staff wrote papers for court. We had fun with Nikita: built blocks, played with a shape sorter, and watched videos of Maddie and Dylan on my phone. Brent and I prayed with him for peace and protection for all of us while we are apart. As it came time to leave, I was less sad than when we left him on our last trip; I know we will be back in a month to take him home, so that makes it easier. He handled good-byes better too. Our driver helped with a little translation to explain to him that we will be back next month. I could understand the Russian dialogue that followed: "Nyet (no)" said Nikita followed by "Da (yes)" from the driver. They went back and forth several times with this before we took Nikita to his caregivers. He didn't cry this time, but did stare at us with very sad eyes as we walked away.
Our driver told us the orphanage director wanted to speak with us before we left. Once again, out of necessity due to the absence if our interpreter, our driver served as amateur translator. The director asked if we were prepared for court. We could only say "We hope so!" She explained to us the after our last visit, Nikita's personality changed some, for the better. He was"proud" to have parents and apparently has become more assertive with other kids, compared to in the past when he was more passive and didn't defend himself. He says that he has parents now to protect him. They all see this as positive. That made me feel good and offered reassurance of how much he does need a family.
We then headed to get our medical exams done for court. Apparently, in Moscow, a city of 15 million people, there are only 3 clinics qualified to do medical exams for court. So, needless to say, they can charge what they want, and what they want is 50,000 rubbles ($1700)! Never mind that we have already had 2 medical exams each at home for this adoption. It's all part of the very trying process.
We did not know what to expect from the exam. Basically, we were paraded in front of 8 different specialists who signed off that we were healthy. Actually, 8 signed but only 6 looked at us because the others were too busy. Apparently for what we pay, they will sign without looking at you. We met another couple from Ireland who have been trying to adopt for 8 years. It put our nearly 2 years in perspective. We exchanged email addresses and hope to make follow up contact with them. If you think of it, pray for them (Tom and Gloria) on Thursday as they are nervous about their court hearing.
Tomorrow is court for us. Our agency went over basic information for us, including what we shouldn't say, which are primarily things we would have said. ( i.e., we aren't supposed to say that we want to help give a home to a child, we aren't supposed to say I will continue to work, even if it's only part time). So, without lying, which we would never feel right doing, we need creative ways to answer questions. Lucky for me, we were also told the judge liked to hear men, not women, talk so Brent gets to do the talking.
I have to admit that I feel anxious, mostly for Nikita. I fear for him if something goes wrong. But, our agency has told us not to worry, despite the detailed instructions on what not to say, and told us that our judge is "reasonable". Our court hearing is at 10:30 am tomorrow. That is 1:30 am Tuesday morning central time. We would appreciate a prayer before you go to bed tonight.
We are moving to a different hotel after court. This one is nearer to the airport, as we leave very early Wednesday morning. I assume WiFi will still work there, and I can update on the court decision after court is over. If for some reason I can't, we will send an update as soon as we get home.
Thanks for being part of our family's journey. It is lonely here and knowing so many of you are sharing this with us brings a lot of comfort and peace. We are blessed to have each of you in our lives.
Today was our last visit with Nik for this trip. It was cold (low 40s) outside but, as has been the case, we were expected to play outside with Nik while the orphanage staff wrote papers for court. We had fun with Nikita: built blocks, played with a shape sorter, and watched videos of Maddie and Dylan on my phone. Brent and I prayed with him for peace and protection for all of us while we are apart. As it came time to leave, I was less sad than when we left him on our last trip; I know we will be back in a month to take him home, so that makes it easier. He handled good-byes better too. Our driver helped with a little translation to explain to him that we will be back next month. I could understand the Russian dialogue that followed: "Nyet (no)" said Nikita followed by "Da (yes)" from the driver. They went back and forth several times with this before we took Nikita to his caregivers. He didn't cry this time, but did stare at us with very sad eyes as we walked away.
Our driver told us the orphanage director wanted to speak with us before we left. Once again, out of necessity due to the absence if our interpreter, our driver served as amateur translator. The director asked if we were prepared for court. We could only say "We hope so!" She explained to us the after our last visit, Nikita's personality changed some, for the better. He was"proud" to have parents and apparently has become more assertive with other kids, compared to in the past when he was more passive and didn't defend himself. He says that he has parents now to protect him. They all see this as positive. That made me feel good and offered reassurance of how much he does need a family.
We then headed to get our medical exams done for court. Apparently, in Moscow, a city of 15 million people, there are only 3 clinics qualified to do medical exams for court. So, needless to say, they can charge what they want, and what they want is 50,000 rubbles ($1700)! Never mind that we have already had 2 medical exams each at home for this adoption. It's all part of the very trying process.
We did not know what to expect from the exam. Basically, we were paraded in front of 8 different specialists who signed off that we were healthy. Actually, 8 signed but only 6 looked at us because the others were too busy. Apparently for what we pay, they will sign without looking at you. We met another couple from Ireland who have been trying to adopt for 8 years. It put our nearly 2 years in perspective. We exchanged email addresses and hope to make follow up contact with them. If you think of it, pray for them (Tom and Gloria) on Thursday as they are nervous about their court hearing.
Tomorrow is court for us. Our agency went over basic information for us, including what we shouldn't say, which are primarily things we would have said. ( i.e., we aren't supposed to say that we want to help give a home to a child, we aren't supposed to say I will continue to work, even if it's only part time). So, without lying, which we would never feel right doing, we need creative ways to answer questions. Lucky for me, we were also told the judge liked to hear men, not women, talk so Brent gets to do the talking.
I have to admit that I feel anxious, mostly for Nikita. I fear for him if something goes wrong. But, our agency has told us not to worry, despite the detailed instructions on what not to say, and told us that our judge is "reasonable". Our court hearing is at 10:30 am tomorrow. That is 1:30 am Tuesday morning central time. We would appreciate a prayer before you go to bed tonight.
We are moving to a different hotel after court. This one is nearer to the airport, as we leave very early Wednesday morning. I assume WiFi will still work there, and I can update on the court decision after court is over. If for some reason I can't, we will send an update as soon as we get home.
Thanks for being part of our family's journey. It is lonely here and knowing so many of you are sharing this with us brings a lot of comfort and peace. We are blessed to have each of you in our lives.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Our post-Babel world
(Brent writing) After our last post we decided to brave the Moscow subway system. We had been wanting to attempt this, but were deterred by the limitations imposed by language, as all of the maps and signs are in Russian. I have been intent in trying to at least read some Russian, even if the word that I sound out is one that I am unfamiliar with. We had a few failed attempts at purchasing and using the metro cards, but eventually found our way to a marbled platform. Between Ann-Marie's compass-like sense of direction and my elementary reading skills, we eventually were able to make it to Red Square, which is bordered on one side by the red walls of the Kremlin. Although some day we may visit the Kremlin itself, we instead wanted to take a closer look at St. Basil's Cathedral (or St. Vasiliy the Blessed as he is known here). The cathedral was not what we expected, but is instead a conglomeration of nine different chambers, or 'churches' as they are called, although none would be large enough to hold church services as we have experienced them to be. The place is a bit of a maze, with many different colors and textures. The interior of the brightly colored domes are as ornate and varied on the inside as they are on the outside. Unexpectedly, there were many signs with English translations, which enabled us to put a bit of historical perspective to what we were seeing.
This morning we went to see Nikita again. The drive out to the orphanage was difficult as we have been feeling isolated. It is so frustrating to be somewhere that you feel perpetually misunderstood. Not only in terms of the language itself, but in terms of customs and cultural norms that we all take for granted. Even the ability to read body language is so different from our own culture. This has been wearing on us for some time, but seemed to be coming to a head for us. Our first moments with Nikita even seemed to perpetuate this. He was not his normal self when we met today and it was so frustrating not knowing what was wrong. A kind orphanage worker helped, but again it was difficult to understand what was wrong. As time wore on, Nikita became his normal self again and the visit ended really well. At the end of our visit we were able to make him understand on our own that we would see him tomorrow. He walked us to his quarters and showed us his locker, and then even walked us a bit further than we had been into part of his living quarters, which has a small kitchenette, bathroom, and what was sort of like a school room area. We did not go further to what was surely sleeping quarters. Nikita let us help him shed his outdoor clothes and shoes and said goodbye "Baca" to us without shedding any tears. This was an unexpected blessing at the end of what had started as our most difficult visit.
This morning we went to see Nikita again. The drive out to the orphanage was difficult as we have been feeling isolated. It is so frustrating to be somewhere that you feel perpetually misunderstood. Not only in terms of the language itself, but in terms of customs and cultural norms that we all take for granted. Even the ability to read body language is so different from our own culture. This has been wearing on us for some time, but seemed to be coming to a head for us. Our first moments with Nikita even seemed to perpetuate this. He was not his normal self when we met today and it was so frustrating not knowing what was wrong. A kind orphanage worker helped, but again it was difficult to understand what was wrong. As time wore on, Nikita became his normal self again and the visit ended really well. At the end of our visit we were able to make him understand on our own that we would see him tomorrow. He walked us to his quarters and showed us his locker, and then even walked us a bit further than we had been into part of his living quarters, which has a small kitchenette, bathroom, and what was sort of like a school room area. We did not go further to what was surely sleeping quarters. Nikita let us help him shed his outdoor clothes and shoes and said goodbye "Baca" to us without shedding any tears. This was an unexpected blessing at the end of what had started as our most difficult visit.
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| The Kremlin at Red Square |
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| Looking up inside one of the towers of St. Basil's Cathedral. The ceiling is very high |
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| Coloring and Enjoying a Snack! |
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| We finally got Nikita to take his hat off! |
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| The "lockers" in the orphanage where the kids keep their coats. Very similar to cubbies kids have at school in the US. |
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Day 2 of Trip 2...
We just returned from visiting Nikita today. He was happy to see us and eager to play. There were 2 other adoptive families there visiting kids. These families were both Russian, which we were told is very unusual. One of the families was adopting 2 little girls, one of which was calling me "Mama" yesterday. I'm so glad she is going to have a Mama!
Nikita was a little less talkative today but very active. We play with him outside. For whatever reason (which the language barrier prevents us from understanding), we are expected to play there rather than go inside, despite some chilly temperatures.
He played a game with us for at least 10 minutes where he would take a sticker off a sticker sheet, stick it on his jacket, gesture for us to cheer at him and offer applause, then put the sticker on a piece of paper, and then gesture for Brent to circle the sticker with a crayon. He repeated this over and over and over again... probably with at least 20 stickers. It was hilarious. I have a very cute picture of it, but his face is on it, so I cant post online right now. I love catching more and more glimpses into Nik's personality. He definitely seems to have a good sense of humor (which is a necessity in our silly family).
I am finding myself a little more frustrated by the language barrier. I find myself wanting to explain things to Nik that I am unable to (ie, this is the last goldfish you can have because it is lunchtime soon, we will be back tomorrow to see you, let's put this toy away now and play with something else). I pray he learns English quickly. Our attempts at Russian are poor at best; even if you say the right word, pronunciation and diction is so important that it can be easily misunderstood.
We are still awaiting details on when our court time is exactly on Tuesday. Several people have asked about that. The norm here seems to be to not provide any more information to us than is necessary at the moment. This is probably the most difficult part of the entire process for us. We keep asking and will update as soon as we know! Prayers are appreciated!
We go back to see Nik in the morning again. Here are some pictures from today, The last one is a photo of the inside of the orphange. Brent was carrying him up the stairs to his living quarters before we left for the day.
Nikita was a little less talkative today but very active. We play with him outside. For whatever reason (which the language barrier prevents us from understanding), we are expected to play there rather than go inside, despite some chilly temperatures.
He played a game with us for at least 10 minutes where he would take a sticker off a sticker sheet, stick it on his jacket, gesture for us to cheer at him and offer applause, then put the sticker on a piece of paper, and then gesture for Brent to circle the sticker with a crayon. He repeated this over and over and over again... probably with at least 20 stickers. It was hilarious. I have a very cute picture of it, but his face is on it, so I cant post online right now. I love catching more and more glimpses into Nik's personality. He definitely seems to have a good sense of humor (which is a necessity in our silly family).
I am finding myself a little more frustrated by the language barrier. I find myself wanting to explain things to Nik that I am unable to (ie, this is the last goldfish you can have because it is lunchtime soon, we will be back tomorrow to see you, let's put this toy away now and play with something else). I pray he learns English quickly. Our attempts at Russian are poor at best; even if you say the right word, pronunciation and diction is so important that it can be easily misunderstood.
We are still awaiting details on when our court time is exactly on Tuesday. Several people have asked about that. The norm here seems to be to not provide any more information to us than is necessary at the moment. This is probably the most difficult part of the entire process for us. We keep asking and will update as soon as we know! Prayers are appreciated!
We go back to see Nik in the morning again. Here are some pictures from today, The last one is a photo of the inside of the orphange. Brent was carrying him up the stairs to his living quarters before we left for the day.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Day 1 of Trip 2!
We arrived in Moscow last night and were up early to visit the orphanage this morning. I (Ann-Marie) was a little nervous about seeing Nikita. I wasn't sure what to expect: Would he remember us? Would it be awkward after we hadn't seen him in 6 weeks? I was very pleasantly surprised; Nik did not miss a beat. He walked up to us immediately and began trying to "share" a wadded up piece of paper with me that he was carrying around. In fact, all of the kids his age at the orphanage seemed to remember me and began calling out "Mama" to me as soon as they saw me. That part is heart-breaking to me, but I was touched by their sweet smiles.
We spent about 2 hours playing with Nik. We played with cars, threw balls, colored, and blew bubbles. It seemed as if we had never left him. This part is such a huge answer to prayer for me as I have had concerns about how his bonding will be effected by the gaps in our time together.
We have visits planned with Nik over the next 3 days and then will go to court on Tuesday, the 18th.
Here are a couple of pictures from today: Brent and Nik playing with stickers and me teaching Nik how to blow bubbles.
We spent about 2 hours playing with Nik. We played with cars, threw balls, colored, and blew bubbles. It seemed as if we had never left him. This part is such a huge answer to prayer for me as I have had concerns about how his bonding will be effected by the gaps in our time together.
We have visits planned with Nik over the next 3 days and then will go to court on Tuesday, the 18th.
Here are a couple of pictures from today: Brent and Nik playing with stickers and me teaching Nik how to blow bubbles.
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